The journey of the soul begins in the heart.
My journey began with a broken heart. I am not talking about a broken heart from an intimate relationship, but from not being witnessed and accepted for who I am. As a young girl, I was a sensitive child and internalized all that happened around me. I often felt very lost and alone, very confused by the world around me, and very afraid. I lived in a world where the truth was hidden, where the trauma and pain that I felt and experienced was denied. Over time, I began to believe that, because no one acknowledged my reality, that I must be crazy, and that everything that was 'wrong' within and around me must be my fault. By the time I reached adolescence, I wanted to die. Following a suicide attempt, I was hospitalized. Instead of receiving the support and healing that I needed, my reality and my emotions were further denied by the therapists in the hospital. I was told that my suicide attempt not real, that there was nothing wrong with my life, and that I was just 'attention seeking'. I was criticized for expressing what I felt or thought. I felt so disconnected and alone that I locked a huge part of me away from the world and myself. I buried her deep inside to hide the pain. I put on a brave face and stepped fully into the game of illusion. I hid my heart and soul from the world. I could not find anyone to help me heal, so instead, I made it my mission to help others to heal as I disconnected from my own pain.
Over time, the disconnection became unbearable.
I self-medicated, I worked constantly, I sought approval through taking care of everyone but me. I used sex to avoid intimacy. I loathed myself and was simultaneously desperate to know who I was and WHY I was so F%&#ed up. I tried many avenues along the way. I became a spiritual seeker. I tried traditional psychotherapy again. After a while, I discovered the holistic world and Reiki. When I learned about Reiki, I immediately signed up for the full training. I was partly motivated by my desire to heal others, but my deeper longing was to find something that would help me heal myself. A few years later, in 2005, I met my mentor, Elizabeth Frediani, and became both her client and her student. Through her guidance as a skilled healer, I finally began to heal my heart and my soul, and to reclaim that lost parts of myself that I had hidden away. The journey with her has brought ongoing transformation in my life, enabling me to heal very deep, very old wounds, and to continue to grow personally and professionally. As I embraced my own healing journey, I no longer needed to heal others as a surrogate to healing myself. I became able to approach my clients from a place of wholeness, where I can now bring the wisdom of my journey as a guide to inform and facilitate their own healing journey.
A few years ago, Christian popped into my inbox. As I read about his work and watched his videos about Heart Intelligence, I felt a deep resonance. At that time in my life, I felt the call of the heart very deeply and was exploring deeper connection in the heart through a number of avenues, however Heart Intelligence spoke to me on a soul level and I was drawn to learn more. I knew that this work was important for my personal healing journey, and it beautifully complimented the healing and coaching work that I offer my clients. I yearned to go deeper. Over the next few years, I participated on the various calls that Christian offered whenever I was able. I attended the Miami Heart Summit in 2012 and fell in love with the beautiful souls that I met and connected with at the event, and I participated in a Practice Day shortly after the Heart Summit, which was a wonderful opportunity to integrate the Heart Summit experience. Not long after, some personal events drew me away from the Heart IQ community for a period of time, however when Christian offered the Heart IQ group coaching certification in the fall of 2014, I knew that it was time to re-connect with Heart IQ, and I had to find a way to make it happen. I signed up immediately and allowed the universe to help support me in sorting out the details.
Immersing myself into the training process enabled me to take my Heart IQ journey so much deeper, and to more fully integrate the work into my life. Each day, I come into more internal awareness of where I am, and where I long to expand in my life. I witness the wonderful gifts that Heart IQ has brought to me; I see it in my relationships on all levels – with myself, with my partner, with my family, with my clients, and with my friends and colleagues. It is a tremendous gift in my life, and I am excited to now be able to integrate Heart IQ into my work and to offer it to my community.